Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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