i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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