i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
