physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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