my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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