We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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