Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
