if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize