Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Randomize
