we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
