that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
