Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
