I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
