in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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