jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This is the high leading the old right now
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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