Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
