Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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