I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
