He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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