True but thats because hes a fetus.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
