I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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