if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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