So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
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Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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