5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
