Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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