yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
