my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize