yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
