i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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