i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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