Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
