How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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