She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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