Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
