I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
