i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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