sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
