Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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