I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
