I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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