it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
