I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
