i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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