Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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