Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
