Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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