Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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