but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
