I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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