I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
