its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
