dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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