what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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