dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
