I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
