his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize