i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
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I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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