Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I FOUND THE LEGS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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