u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
