Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
